Taking A Stand
by Kalta79
Summary: Reno goes on strike #lemons #food porn #don't judge me
1. Chapter 1

**Day One**

When Reno walked into his office in the morning, Scarlet was there waiting for him, sitting on his desk.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"The usual, what else?" Scarlet kissed him and unfastened his pants, pulling him to her as she spread her legs.

When she was done with him, she got up off the desk, put her panties back on, and walked out without a word.

* * *

Reno and Rude decided to have lunch at 7th Heaven. Halfway through their lunch break, an attractive blonde with long legs started chatting up Rude, and they left shortly afterwards. Enjoying being the only customer there, Reno grabbed the rest of Rude's food and was pulling the onions out of the burger when he heard a door slam and saw Cloud storming off, Tifa opening the door to her office, yelling words at him that Reno didn't think she had even known. She froze for a moment when saw Reno there at the bar, then relaxed and jerked her head back towards her office, indicating he should come in. Taking another sip of his beer and shoving a breath mint in his mouth, he walked into her office.

Tifa slammed and locked the door behind him, then she was all over him, putting his hands underneath her skirt as she unfastened his pants. Remembering that she liked it slow, he took his time. Tifa moaned as he finally entered her. Part of her felt disgusted that she would seek Reno out whenever she and Cloud were having trouble, but the other part of her just reveled in what Reno made her feel. She cried out as he once again delivered the multiple orgasms he had promised her so long ago if she ever got tired of Cloud.

"Tifa, are you okay?" one of the barmaids worriedly asked, knocking on the door.

"I'm more than okay now." Tifa whispered, then realized she had to get back to work.

She and Reno separated, and he hid behind the door as Tifa fixed her clothes and unlocked and opened the door.

"Everything's fine. Now get back to the bar, that's what I'm paying you for." Tifa told the barmaid, and left her office, leaving the door open so Reno could leave.

* * *

He was finishing his beer, even though it had gotten flat while he was attending to Tifa. Suddenly someone grabbed his mug and took a drink from it. Turning to his left in anger, he found himself face to face with Yuffie.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked her.

Yuffie whispered something in his ear.

"Not right now, I'm on my lunch break." Reno replied.

"You always have excuses! You promised me two months ago and you're always busy!" Yuffie started to yell at him.

"Fine." Reno didn't want to listen to her tantrums right now. He grabbed her by the hand and led her into the bathroom.

Tifa's lips thinned as she watched them, and then she frowned as Yuffie's cries of fulfillment spilled out in the main room a little while later. Then she wondered…was she jealous? She was starting to get the uncomfortable feeling that sometimes she picked fights with Cloud just so she could have an excuse to have sex with Reno. She suddenly bit down on something hard in her mouth and was surprised to find it was a breath mint.

* * *

When Reno was in his office getting ready to leave for the day, Elena walked in.

"What do you want?" he asked her.

"Um, did you finish that report for…um…" Elena started to say.

"What do you really want?" he demanded to know.

"Tseng's gone for a week, he left this afternoon." she blurted out.

Suddenly annoyed, he took a deep breath before pushing his chair out from the desk. Elena smiled and hurriedly unbuttoned her shirt while he unfastened his pants. She hiked her skirt up as she sat in his lap, and was puzzled when she didn't get the explosive result she had been expecting. The sex was…it was no different than if she had been having sex with Tseng.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, concerned.

"I'm fine." he said, as he lifted her off him and left after refastening his pants.

* * *

Reno was relieved that Rude wanted to go to a different bar for dinner, he didn't want to go back to 7th Heaven right now.

"Here's to our weekend!" Rude said, and lifted his beer mug up, and Reno clinked his against it.

"And it'll be over too soon." Reno complained.

"What's wrong with you?" Rude asked.

"I'm not sure." Reno frowned.

While waiting for their food to arrive, a pretty brunette approached Reno.

"Excuse me, could you tell me-"

"Dammit, I'm not a walking penis! Get yourself a vibrator!" Reno erupted and stormed out.

He fumed all the way back to his apartment. As he got into bed after a shower, he decided he was going to swear off women for the next month. He was tired of being used to scratch their itches or to get back at the man in their lives.


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 2**

Reno woke up and took a shower, then picked out his Wednesday suit and put it on before heading out the door. Grabbing his usual coffee and pastry at the stand on his corner, he headed to the office, ignoring all the women on the street.

Getting to his office, he was glad to find it empty. He sat down at his desk and looked for the files from the last mission so he could double-check everything before he typed up his report.

Elena walked into his office a couple hours later. "Are you feeling better than you were last night?" she asked. "We might try again if you are."

Reno opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a catalog of sex toys, opening it to a certain page and circling one of the items before handing it to Elena. "You might want to try that vibrator if Tseng isn't doing it for you anymore. I quit."

Elena stood there frozen for a moment, before throwing the catalog at his face and storming out of his office.

"You ready to hit the town?" Rude asked as their work day ended.

"Nope. I'm staying home tonight." Reno said.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just on strike."

"On strike?"

"Yeah, the women of this town will have to find someone else, I'm unavailable." Reno explained.

Rude shrugged and left, figuring Reno wouldn't last a week.

* * *

 **Day 4**

Reno rubbed the back of his neck, trying to figure out what to do next. He never realized how much of his time he spent on sex. He had already cleaned his entire apartment and his office twice.

* * *

 **Day 6**

Reno sat down on his couch and turned on the TV, trying to find something interesting to watch. He needed to do something that didn't require hands, since his wrists were getting quite sore. He flipped through the channels and stopped when he got to a cooking channel. A woman was dipping her finger into a saucepan and then licking it as a taste test. After washing her hands, she went over to a plate with big sausages on it.

Reno watched with growing interest as he watched her run her hands over them as she explained how to tell if they were good quality or not. She cut them up and put them in another pan on the stove, then went to another plate full of chicken breasts, fondling them to get them ready for the oven. Then she focused on dessert, which were little round frosted cakes, and when she garnished the top of each of them with a piece of candy, they looked like breasts to Reno. He left the TV on as he got up and ran out the door to the grocery store.

* * *

 **Day 7**

It took Reno three trips to carry in the boxes of all his new cookware and kitchen appliances. He had stayed up late the night before watching that channel, writing down what he needed to cook like they did. He wanted to throw a dinner party soon, but he wanted to practice the recipes that seemed the most interesting to him first. He looked at the time and realized he had just enough to make another trip to the grocery store before it closed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 10**

Rude, Cloud, Tseng, Rufus, Cid, Vincent, and Barret showed up promptly at eight o'clock at Reno's place for dinner.

"Come on in, I've got some drinks and appetizers in the living room, dinner will be ready in about half an hour." Reno said as he opened the door wearing an apron and chef's hat.

The men came in and went to the living room, trying to find something to talk about as they waited for dinner.

"How goes the oil business, Barret?" Cid asked.

"I guess you survived your torture by the Remnants." Vincent said to Tseng.

"Have you reconsidered rejoining Shinra?" Rufus asked Cloud.

Rude and Barret helped themselves to the puff pastry appetizers, noticing the way they were shaped with a hole in the middle was quite suggestive.

***

"Dinner is served!" Reno called out to living room.

The men gratefully left the awkwardness of forced small talk, sitting down at their seat at the dining room table according to the name cards, noticing their main course was a sausage sliced and arranged in a straight line, with the side dishes in little bowls at the beginning of the sausage, one on each side. Reno walked around the table, filling up everyone's wine glasses before sitting down to eat himself.

Rude wondered how much longer Reno was going to last without sex. It was obvious still very much on his mind.

Cloud was thinking that maybe Tifa should have come tonight, she had been so pissed off lately, maybe it would have distracted her. Usually if they had a fight and he left for a while, she was always happy when he came back, but that hadn't happened lately.

Tseng wished Reno would give up this stupid strike, Scarlet had always been hard to deal with, but she had reached a new level of bitchiness, and Elena was starting to echo it.

Rufus made a mental note to have Tseng get the recipes from Reno as he sipped the soup. If Reno ever decided he didn't want to be a Turk anymore, he'd be willing to hire him as their personal chef.

Cid wondered if this would be a good time to ask Rufus if he'd be interested in funding a new aviation program.

Vincent was hoping this would end soon, he needed to dust his coffin, he had been putting it off for too long, and it was hard to sleep when you're sneezing. And it was the only place he could hide from Yuffie, who had become unbearable lately.

Barret had no idea why Reno had invited him, but it was beyond him to pass up a free meal.

They all stared at Reno when he brought the desserts out, cream puffs that had been made to look like breasts, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

***

 **Day 14**

The men left Reno's place after another dinner party, not surprised to find that the meal once again demonstrated Reno's suppressed need for sex. This time the main course was a pasta dish with an overwhelming amount of cut-up sausages and oysters, and dessert was individual cherry pies.

Rude had decided to stay behind and help Reno clean up.

"Don't you miss sex?" he asked Reno.

"Nope, there's a whole culinary world out there worth exploring." Reno said.

"Riiiight…just be careful, you're starting to put on weight." Rude pointed out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Day 17**

The men had gathered in Rufus' office for a council of war.

"We're all here because we realize how serious this situation is. Reno can't be continued to carry on like this any longer." Rufus started the discussion. "We're afraid the situation may become violent in this city soon."

"It already has." Cloud said. "Tifa gave me this black eye when I asked her where my socks were."

"Yuffie stole my coffin." Vincent admitted.

"Scarlet and Elena tried to kill each other last night." Tseng said.

"The barista maid didn't give me my coffee this morning, she just started throwing croissants and bagels at me, the receptionist threw pencils at me, and your secretary threw pushpins." Rude complained.

"Any suggestions on how to restore peace in this town and get the old Reno back?" Rufus asked.

The men just stared at each other, hoping someone else had an idea.

"Whatever needs to be done, it needs to be done before Reno ends up getting fat. And before he invites us to another one of those damned dinner parties." Rude said.

* * *

 **Day 18**

Reno walked into the office building, oblivious to the disappointed expression on the receptionist's face as she saw he still had his shirt properly buttoned up and was wearing a tie.

At the morning meeting, Tseng had a new mission for Reno and Rude, handing the folders containing the precise details in silence.

"A brothel? We have to spend a week at a brothel? But tomorrow is the premiere of all the new cooking shows! And I wanted to host another dinner party this weekend!" Reno complained.

Tseng stared hard at Reno. "Human trafficking is a serious crime, and you're going to do your best to investigate the truth of these complaints, is that understood?"

Reno reluctantly nodded his acquiescence.

* * *

 **Day 25**

Rude entered Rufus' office, and Rufus and Tseng looked hopefully at him. He shook his head. "No luck, all Reno did was take over the kitchen there and offer cooking classes to the girls. I'm worried he might be beyond saving."

Rufus and Tseng hung their heads down, scared that Rude might be right and this town was going to be a death trap soon.

The women held their own council of war at 7th Heaven.

"Well, we've let the men bungle things long enough." Tifa said. "Suggestions?"

"Kidnap him and chain him to a bed so we can do what we want with him." Scarlet offered.

"Spike his food with the most powerful aphrodisiac available on the black market." Elena said.

"Steal his TV and everything in his kitchen so he can't watch that channel or cook." Yuffie suggested.

* * *

 **Day 31**

Reno was excited about this dinner party, it was his most ambitious one yet. It took him four times arranging the dishes and décor on the table until he was happy with the layout. The oven buzzer went off and he hurriedly took the appetizers out and put them in the living room. As soon as he put the baking sheet in the sink, there was a knock at the door.

"It's open!" he called out. "Appetizers hot out of the oven in the living room, I'll let you know when dinner's ready."

Surprised by the lack of stomping into the living room, he made sure he could leave the stove for a moment and went into the living room, stunned when he sees Tifa, Scarlet, Elena, and Yuffie there.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded to know.

"We wanted to experience your cooking skills as well." Tifa said, a dangerous glint in her eyes, echoed by the other women there.

"You don't wanna ruin dinner, do you?" Yuffie asked him. "I don't want to smell it burning."

Glaring at her, he went back to the kitchen. With ill grace, he served them dinner.

"What the hell is this?" Scarlet asked, poking at the food on her plate with her fork.

"Shut up and eat it." Yuffie told her.

"Don't tell me what to do, you little bitch!" Scarlet snapped.

"I'd be careful about who I call a bitch." Tifa said to Scarlet.

"Like you're careful with Cloud?" Elena asked Tifa. "Is he still mooning over Aerith?"

"Ladies!" Reno snapped. "Since you forced yourselves to my dinner party, please just eat."

Elena went to cut hers into proper bite sized portions, but a piece of meat flew off her plate and hit Yuffie in the face. Yuffie reacted by grabbing a handful of pasta and throwing it back at Elena, knocking Scarlet's wine glass onto her as well. Scarlet threw her soup at Tifa, and then all hell broke loose.

"Not the food! It took me two hours to cook all this!" Reno pleaded, to be answered by a glob of mashed potatoes hitting his cheek. "That's enough!" he yelled.

The four women froze, the food no longer on the plates but all over them.

"Get out!" Reno yelled, pointing at the door before storming into his bathroom.

"Well that worked brilliantly, didn't it?" Scarlet said, wiping salad dressing off her eyelids.

"Elena and I will stay here and help clean up." Tifa decided.

"Fine, but just remember, I'm always ready for a rematch." Scarlet said, pointing a long finger ending in a red sharp fingernail at her, then moved the finger to point at Elena. "And you're lucky that Tseng intervened to save your ass." Then she and Yuffie left.

"We need to clean ourselves up first before we clean this up." Elena said.

Tifa nodded, and they headed to the bathroom where Reno was wiping off his face.

"What do you want now?" Reno demanded to know.

"We're gonna clean ourselves then help you clean up." Tifa said, as she and Elena got into the shower. Once they got the temperature right, they took their clothes off and took turns lathering each other up.

Reno turned to leave when for some reason he stopped and watched them. He noticed Tifa's breasts looked like his cream puffs. He instinctively licked his lips. And Elena's ass, it reminded him of a perfect rump roast, and his hand started twitching as Tifa caressed it with soapy hands, making it seem the color of perfect cream. He stared longer at them, the two perfect food dishes in his shower. Long absent sensations started flowing through him, and his clothes started feeling too tight. He wasn't even aware of taking his clothes off, but suddenly he was naked and heading into the shower.

"Is there room for three?" he asked.

* * *

As all three of them lay in his bed later, Elena and Tifa were curled contentedly against Reno, Elena on his right, Tifa on his left. Elena sighed as she remembered how he had shoved her against the tile wall of the shower and fucked her like a whore. She needed to remember to try and find something nice to do for Tifa, for letting her have first crack at Reno again, since he had flubbed their last encounter.

Elena felt Reno's lips on her neck again and smiled when he told her it was her turn again. Tifa stroked his ass as he thrust into Elena, knowing he would be inside her again soon enough. She had missed him so much…she closed her eyes as she heard Elena cry out, Tifa's body almost echoing Elena's orgasm as it remembered their reunion in the shower. She kept her eyes closed as she relived every moment of their reunion, opening them as she felt his hands on her.

"You ready for more?" Reno asked Tifa.

"Always." Tifa declared, pulling Reno to her.

* * *

 **A Week Later**

"Report." Rufus commanded.

"Tifa made me breakfast in bed." Cloud said.

"Yuffie returned my coffin, and it had been polished." Vincent announced.

"Elena organized my desk and typed up all the cold case files." Tseng said.

"The barista maid gave me a flower with my coffee this morning." Rude admitted.

"Can we nominate Reno for the Aerith Peace Prize?" Cloud asked.


End file.
